Random but true

Life is random and so am I.

I should have that put on a t-shirt.

Three very much random (but true) things about me:

1. I recently bought a pack of Garbage Pail Kids cards and squealed with joy upon learning that I was lucky enough to get the Toe Jam Sam card and a Garbage Pail Kids tattoo.

2. I just learned about a channel that's all about food called the Food Network last night. On this show they had like this timed cook-off competition and I realized that I don't own a SINGLE INGREDIENT that they used. And what the eff is blue cheese ice cream anyway?

3. I taught my three year old how to properly flare his nostrils this afternoon. It's a family talent, and I'm passing the torch.

Post 3 random (but TRUE) things about yourself in the comments section of this post through Wednesday at 8:00 PM Pacific. Most creative/funniest list will win a prize from Starbucks. (Where else?) Enter as many lists as you would like, no more than 3 random (but true) items per post. Winner announced Thursday morning.

Comments

[Kristin]

1) I watched TV for the first time in MONTHS last night. What I chose to watch? Like, sat down with the SOLE INTENTION of watching? "American Gladiators." It was really awful, and totally awesome.

2) I have an irrational fear of birds. Something about their pointy little beaks and scaly little feet. GAH.

3) I have an extra little lump of . . . something (skin? fat?) on one of my ears, above the lobe. I always thought I should get it pierced, just to highlight my freakish growth, but I never did.

[evil chef mom]

1. I won't kill most bugs except flies, mosquitos, large amounts of ants together, and cockroaches. I feel like there just living their life why turn around and just smash them out of the blue. More often than not I'll get a cup and scoop them up and place them outside. Even black widows. Has something to do with karma.

2. I love sumo wrestling. Something about those big men only wearing a piece of cloth... hmmmm...

3. I always have wanted to shave my head.

[Dorian]

1. Love the rain. People get excited about sunny days here in Washington. I get sad if it's sunny to long. If it's over 85 I'm just grumpy.
2. If my breasts are bigger than my tummy, I'm good. If my tummy is winning, I feel fat.
3. I shrug a lot. My 18 month is starting to copy me. You ask him a question and he'll shrug like, got me.

[Sara]

1) I give good advice to others, but I'm so indecisive that I can't help myself.

2) Both my second toes are longer than the first.

3) I always bring my sunglasses with me when I go outside. Even when it's raining or snowing.

[Coffee Bean]

1. I made mac&cheese with breast milk, sat and watched my husband eat it, and have been laughing about it for 19 years.

2. I wore a backless jumper and high heels to go four wheeling behind a college when I was a senior in high school. It was striped and I'm sure I had an entire can of hairspray in my hair. I went off to discreetly go potty behind some bushes on a waterlogged slope. While peeing I slid approximately 100 ft. down the hill.. screaming of course... which brought the boys running. Yup, naked except for the jumper and panties around my ankles. I'd already ditched the heels earlier.

3. I once flashed a friend of my husband's from the boat as he was water skiing. He ate it so bad he could have been seriously injured. I've never flashed anyone except my husband since. My ta tas are that powerful.

Those last two were BEFORE becoming a good (cough) Christian woman. By the first, you can see there may or may not be some, uh... lingering deviant leanings.

[Sara]

Coffee Bean, you win!

[Sara]

Coffee Bean, you win!

[Coffee Bean]

I better win... here's some more!

4. The night my first child was born... my 10 lb. 2 oz. child, all of our parents and some friends were hanging around and checking her out. I had been on an IV drip for over 12 hours and I needed to goooooo... only the epidural had not worn off yet. So, everyone was shooed out while I was left on a bedpan. I could not reach the button to call the nurse and ended up crying and hollering for my husband. The nurse came in...left the door wide open... threw back the sheets and declared I was swollen shut and needed a catheter. Sooooo... while I'm there splayed out and she is ramming a catheter up my pee shoot... my FATHER-IN-LAW WALKED IN AND GOT A BIG OLE EYE FULL OF MY HOOCH!!!

5. Sometimes... since after 20 years no one is in the house with me during the day... I like to... maybe be naked sometimes. EVERY TIME I AM NAKED PAST 10 am... someone comes along and is banging on my front door!!!

6. I went boogie boarding after being on bedrest for 13 weeks a couple of days before I had my last child. I caught an awesome wave that hurtled me toward the beach at lightening speed and I was beached like a great white whale. I then got a bad sunburn. I was 25.

[Bekah]

(1)My brother was once irritating me when I was feeding(breast) Girly, so I shot him(with milk) and told him to shut up. he was 16 and mortified.
(2)if I have company coming and I have ALOT of dishes to do, sometimes I hide them in the stove.
(3) I told Girly not to go near a certain street because there are child eating cannibals that live there, so I didn't have to explain perverts to her.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Coffee Bean, I bow down! Not too close to you though...

[Bekah]

(4)my inlaws saw a slew of nekkid sexual pictures of me that hubby put on the computer when Nanna wanted a slide show of her grandbaby, I'm not convinced they don't still have some
(5) I hate to play video games, but I love to watch other people play.
(6)I can self-justify A $7 purchase of Brie, but not going to an eye exam.

[Michele]

1 - My first real job was in a tampon factory.

2 - My parents first home when they got married was a mobile home near the beach. I was a trailer baby. They moved into a real house when I was a year old. If they had stayed in that trailer, the land would be worth major money now.

3 - I am afraid of clowns, and I think it is because when I was a kid my mom watched a soap opera that had an evil clown on it. Circa 1970-ish? I was three or four.

[Becca]

1. I have never eaten candy corn. I think it looks weird and nothing like either candy or corn.

2. If you ask my son what nose a moose makes, he puts his hands up to his head like antlers and says "Do-dee-do-dee-doooo..." He actually thinks they make that noise because I taught him they do (because it's funny and cute) We live in a city with hundreds of moose roaming the streets (literally) so I am going to have to tell him the truth soon so no one makes fun of him, but I keep putting it off because I love seeing him do that.

3. I am missing two molars because I was so afraid to go to the dentist, I left old fillings too long and they cracked and fell out then the teeth cracked and could not be saved. .

[Becca]

1. I have never eaten candy corn. I think it looks weird and nothing like either candy or corn.

2. If you ask my son what nose a moose makes, he puts his hands up to his head like antlers and says "Do-dee-do-dee-doooo..." He actually thinks they make that noise because I taught him they do (because it's funny and cute) We live in a city with hundreds of moose roaming the streets (literally) so I am going to have to tell him the truth soon so no one makes fun of him, but I keep putting it off because I love seeing him do that.

3. I am missing two molars because I was so afraid to go to the dentist, I left old fillings too long and they cracked and fell out then the teeth cracked and could not be saved. .

[mechelle]

uh I not sure I can beat Coffe Bean but I like to participate...

1. once when I was at a softball sleepover, we decided to play strip poker ala "musical chairs style" basically whoever didn't get he chair had to take something off. when I got down to ONLY my shirt the softball coaches ( female)and there boyfrinds walked in. everyone scattered and I was left standing there, later on of the coaches hissed at me "what were you doing I could see your PRIVATES!!" oh perish the thought.

2.I used to work on a cruise ship as a dining room steward. once every 6 weeks we had to work in the " dish pit" as "dish dogs", a term my friend and I objected to and made everyone call us "dish Dolls". it was stressful and hard and one thing lead to another and the last night we were on duty they sent back a large bowl of leftover chocolate mousse. how it started I cannot say but it ended with mousse on the ceiling the floor the walls, in my eyes and covering both of us from head to toe...oh my friend also once threw a rack of Expensive dishes into the river...cause she was too tired to wash em.

3.Moths frighten me...they fly at my face..I can only assume they are mistaking it for the pale white moon!

[Gaining Some LB's]

1. I am afraid of mushrooms.

2. When people tell me someone has died, I wonder if the family will have an Estate Sale.

3. I once peed the bed, hid the sheet in my closet, inside a purse. My poor mother didnt find it until the closet smell like a urinal.

Peace
#2

[Tamara in GA]

1. I label everthing right down to the box the label maker lives in.

2. One time in my wild & young years a friend of mine & I went to a little beach town north of ours to a double date with older guys. Never being one who could control her drink, I suppose too much was consumed. I had to urinate & my friend told me the coast was clear. I peed in between two cars. When the guys showed up after settling the bill I realized 2 things. 1. It was our car. 2. You can't really deny it too well when there are little bubbles & steam rising off of it. They took us home.

3. I grew up in a 1950's bugalow 3/4 of a mile from the beach in Southern CA. The view of the mall towering 1/2 mile east of my home. I was NOT raised in the country. However, as long as I can remember I have wanted to live a totally self contained life style. Meaning, I watch Ag tv & RFD ALL the time. Have always had a garden. Can everything I can get my hands on. Recently talked my husband, (the Jew with the law degee, not a farmer) into building me a chicken coop. When asked by UD what I would do if I won the lottery didn't miss a beat. A few Belgium belted cows. Their heirloom, ya know?

[Lori]

1. When I'm home alone I listen to rap videos on you tube and try to do the dance moves. For a 32 year old white female with no rhythm, this is something that must be done alone.

2. I am secretly addicted to Flavor of Love. I would never admit that to people I know.

3. I buy Amelia Bedelia and Fancy Nancy books for myself, but I say they are for the children.

[Lori]

1. When my husband ticks me off, which seems to be a lot, I break his things then throw them away. If I can't just throw them away I act like I don't know what happened, or I blame it on the dog. He has lost an xbox game, stereo equipment, favorite t-shirts just to name a few.

2. I have, on more than one ocassion, used his toothbrush to clen things around the house.

3. I hate feet. I think they're ugly and can't stand to look at them or touch them. Summer time makes me insane.

[Elise]

1. At this very moment, I'm engrossed in a Gilmore Girls marathon with my sick 14 year old daughter...season 7, disk 2.

2. Favorite snack: cracker with almond butter, topped with 1/2 a strawberry.

3. My boyfriend calls me the "Hair Nazi" because I can't stand to see hairs sprouting where they don't belong and go into a tweezing frenzy. I expect him to reciprocate by making me aware of any random strays on my chin...if he fails me then I'll know that he doesn't truly love me.

[Shelley Moore]

Oh hell... coffee bean just had me in stitches! I bow down to thee, Coffee Bean! BUT... Lori - Lori, I just totally am in love with your retribution tactics against your husband! You almost made me pee my pants!

[Claire in CA, USA]

Flaring one's nostrils is a rare talent. I, too, can flare my nostrils. However, my offspring cannot. HA!

[Coffee Bean]

7. I once went on a date againsty my mom's wishes (she wanted me to go to dinner at one of their friend's). The guy was a total loser and took me to a party in the woods. On the way home we got a flat tire. For real. Needless to say, I didn't make my curfew. When I did get home, at 2 am... no cell phones waaay back then, my mom had gone in my room and thrown away all my brand new Clinique make-up. We were living on an army depot and while I was out in the dumpster the MPs came along and shone their lights on me and wanted to know what I was doing.

8. My husband was president of his fraternity when he was in college and at one of his parties one of the guys in the fraternity tried to get me to leave with him. I then passed out on the floor. He never let me go to another party. And so you know, I've been drunk only a handful of times... and none of them were pretty.

9. The other day I made fun of my son for having a big zit on his cheek... we were rushing home so he could change and then get to a 4 hour driving class. He actually went into my room and got into my make-up to cover it up after popping it and spilled make-up all over MY bed! I was NOT happy. There may have been yelling. I told him to get his cell phone and when we got in the car, he didn't have it. There may have been some more yelling. I gave him my keys to go get it, when he came out of the house... NO KEYS. He locked them in the house! Definitely some yelling. Didn't make the class and now has to wait until June 19... much wailing and knashing of teeth. But, of course, it is all MY fault because I made fun of his zit. So... guess what I wake up to this morning on MY face?!?!? Oh yeah, BIG FAT ZIT and my mom, stepdad, dad, and brother will all be here tomorrow for our girls' graduation on Friday.

I am officially the most loserist person for entering so many times. Truth is I am WAY STRESSED and blogging is FUN. The last time my brother and stepdad were together they got into a fist fight... My brother is 6'10". Sooooo... maybe you can have your little E man say a prayer for the crazy lady that comments on your blog.

[Cory]

1. I HATE HATE HATE to be cold!!! I have told my husband & kids that when I die I want to be buried in a very warm, soft blanket -- if not I will haunt them for the rest of their days.

2. I am afraid of moths -- and anything else that might fly towards me. My husband used to chase me around the house with a moth because he thinks it is ridiculous that I am afraid of them.

3. I love to lounge in the sun - probably because of #1 - but can't so much anymore because of the damn age spots it brings out on my face. I hate getting older!

[marysia in tx]

1. I feel a lot thinner and in shape than I look on the outside. It's a [depressing]shock to me every time I see a photo of myself.

2. I love pickles and orange juice together (as a snack). And I've never been pregnant, and it's not hormonal.

3. I have incredibly sensitive eyes and can't go anywhere outside without sunglasses.