I ain't playing games...

Praise the lord, there is a god.

I suspect they call him Wii.

I just spent an evening playing the old school Super Mario Bros. game - and I mean The Original of video games - with Candy Ass. It was like heaven. Or sex. Or a brand new Twix bar... It was fan-goddamn-tastic and btw, why in the hizzle didn't anyone tell me about this feature of the Wii before?

So if you don't know, now you know: Apparently, you can buy Wii Points wherever you buy Wii games which allow you to download old (and new) games to play on your Wii. We downloaded the original Super Mario Bros which, initially, fed into our better-than-thou egos, a game so minuscule in the tech department that surely we'd have that mutha beat in ten minutes flat. (read: hidden warp zones) But then neither of us could get past level 5 and the novelty wore off. Subsequently, I had to send Candy Ass to get me one of them Twix bars. Stat.

True story.

Now I'm really jonesin' (HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU SPELL JONESIN' - JONSIN' - JOANSIN'???) to find some more old school games like that ever competitive Jeopardy!... There was a time when I had every single possible answer question memorized. I'd lure fresh meat into my room, acting all nonchalant about playing a little harmless game of Jeopardy! and then slaughter their asses when it came to useless trivia. I'll take Can-O-Whoop-Ass for $400 Alex.

And don't even bring up Duck Hunt. My aim is uncanny and let me let you in on a little secret: you don't want to mess with me and my electric orange gun.

Yes, I know Zelda was another popular game, but popular was never my style (read: high school) and so I pretty much forego'd? forewent? (why is everything so freakin' hard to spell today?) the whole Zelda scene, but do remember vividly how in the 80s at least one in every three families (true statistic) had a family pet named Zelda.

But for now, I'm focusing all my energy and attention on the importance of reacquainting myself with the original Super Mario Bros. which, as we speak, is beckoning me to play it. Surely Candy Ass will understand when he arrives home tomorrow and I'm still in my pajamas, the kids unfed (is there a law requiring that?) and I'm sweating, my hair all Don-King-ish with Twix bar remnants still on my face. Right?

Comments

[kristin]

Awesome! I didn't know you could still get the old school games for the new systems. You think they have a hook-up for that classic Nintendo game pad thing that was like a mat on the floor and you had to jump on all the buttons? I loved that thing.

[Sprite's Keeper]

I had the Mario intro on my cell for years before someone told me it was annoying EVERYONE!
I used to kick major ass on that game. Now, my 8 year old nephew kicks my ass regularly on Mario RaceKart (or whatever it's called. Dude, you're throwing bombs at each other.) I claim the game has excessive violence whenever I'm losing. Which is always. Rock on, Retro Diva!

[Amber]

Check the stores and amazon.com for wii points cards. I think Amazon has them for $8 for 1000 points? (but then again you have to pay shipping, so I don't know if it's a deal or not). I totally bought Dr Mario when it came out (and it's better cause you can play against people on the INTERNET!)

Oh, and I was one of the other 2/3 of people that had a pet named after a character on He-Man... that's right, my sister named my dog She-Ra :-).

[Jenn in IL]

Um, I'm going to have to say that Muper Mario Bros 3 was the best one out there. That was my favorite.

And I kicked ass at it AND Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...

[Sara]

You should challenge each other to a no-warp game. That's what we used to do. We actually never had a Nintendo in our house until my brother went to college and bought an old one off someone. You know what we did that summer. Now we have a friend's old Super Nintendo in my mom's basement. We usually play Dr. Mario or the first Super Mario game. Love it. Even better? We have my cousin's old Atari. Pitfall, anyone? (If only I could find some working paddles so we can play Kaboom.)

[evil chef mom]

does it have old school tetris? because if it does you'll never hear from me again!

[CarolynOnline]

Can't you just leave an open box of cereal on the floor for the kids? It's self serve.

[Shelley Moore]

LOL at the self serve cereal from Carolyn, LOL!!!! I totally feel you Megan... If there was an Asteroids - DUDE... I'd be TOTALLY GONE!

[Lennie]

Pitfall Harry. Ms. PacMan. Frogger. Sigh. I'm older than all of you kiddies out there but believe me, many a night the hubby and I would be up too late playing on the ol' video game machine. Loved Bomberman. It's the only game I ever played all the way to the very end and won. I'm still proud.

[Meg]

Gotta respect the old school Super Mario Bros. My brother used to play Castlevania for hours and hours and hours until he beat it. Just typing that made me start humming that stupid theme song.

Good luck conquering the beast!

[Miss Britt]

I cheated at Duck Hunt.

[Photography By Shay]

Oh girl, now don't you go forgetting Tetris!

[Gabby]

My bf and I have been wanting a Wii for those games, but then we found our Nintendo and Super Nintendo consoles, and a TON of games to go with them. We play Super Mario World on SNES when there's nothing else to do on a summer evening.
Wanna play? (yea, its super weird because you don't know me, but I can't not offer!)

[Domestic Spaz]

That's my favorite thing about our Wii. I bought the original Super Mario, Super Mario 3, and Zelda and am in LOVE with them. I also bought Donkey Kong Country and then learned I need to get a different controller for it. DAMMIT!

The Man was supposed to get me one for my birthday but he flaked.