Deep in the cockpit .... (and Blogher photos)

What do you know? I made it to and from Chicago for Blogher IN ONE PIECE. One very tired, hungover and bags-under-the-eyes piece, but I survived nonetheless!

(I was pretty worried about the flying part. Not sure if you 'got' that from my OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE post a week or so back, but yay me! I didn't fall from the sky! This time.)

Actually, when we all boarded the plane, I stopped by the cockpit and had a quick chat with the pilots.

"You know how to fly this thing, right?"

(They glanced at each other like Is she for real? and quickly realized I AM *SO* FOR REAL.)

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Good. 'Cause I don't like to fly and I don't want to die."

And then I made my way to my seat, surrounded by 20 other local bloggers, all Blogher-bound and all hoping I wouldn't embarrass them further. The plane fills up. They're just about ready to shut the cabin door and... Up and out of my seat I go, the stewardess stopping me mid-aisle to tell me to sit down, we're getting ready to leave.

"I need to talk to the the pilot."

"Ma'am, we're about to taxi to the runway."

"I'll be quick." And I shuffle right past her before she can stop me. The other bloggers gasp like What the fuck is she doing? And who let her get out of her seat?? and send Emmie after me, presumably to tackle me mid-aisle-way so I don't change my mind and get off the plane.

I peek my head into the cockpit.

"Um, excuse me?"

Both pilots turn around, a little surprised, but then quickly remember IT'S ME AGAIN. The pilot moves his bag and tells me to "have a seat." So I do. The stewardess gets a little antsy, wanting us in our seats so she can explain how to use our seats as floatation devices should we land where? in Kansas?

"What are you so scared about?"

"I don't like to fly," I say, staring at my feet. "It's not natural for a huge chunk of metal to float."

"Honestly, you don't have to worry. It's like being on a boat. We'll get you there safely."

And with that, both pilots get out of their seats (at which point I thought was so that they could personally escort my ass off the plane) and tell Emmie and I to sit in the cockpit so they could take a picture of us pretending to fly the plane.

I promise, I did not touch ANY OF THE BUTTONS.

Emmie and I walked back to our seats, grinning while the other passengers give us distrusting looks of disgust. We take our seats and the other partyplane bloggers just shake their heads in total belief. Because of course I just infiltrated the cockpit and pretended to fly the plane. Who else?

I'd like to say my little chat with the nicest pilots EVER made all my fears of flying instantly dissipate, but truthfully, I still cried when we took off and didn't breathe again until we leveled off and traded a drink ticket for a Heineken.

Just keepin' it real.

But I made it. And god, I'm so glad I risked my life via aeroplane for Blogher because it was such a good goddamn time. From what I remember.

Luckily, the photos don't lie. And if you want to see Blogher through my very beer-goggled eyes, then here you go.

(And really, it was such an amazing experience meeting all my blog and twitter friends face-to-face. In my not-so-humble opinion, Blogher is what you make it. I didn't stress over swag or private parties or meeting certain people or finding potential 'opportunities' for me or my blog through networking. I went to have fun and to see my friends. And it was awesome.)

***

Tomorrow, I will tell the tale of slaying that certain bucket list item involving the Married with Children fountain. *grins*

Comments

[Claudia W]

Fer real? You got to pretend to fly the plane...awesome!

[Meg]

That's awesome! Good for those pilots for recognizing you were probably and inch away from running from the plane screaming!

Glad you made it and had a blast!

[Sara @heartmychloe]

Great pictures! Can't wait till next year =D

[Avitable]

It was great to meet you. You're fucking adorable!

[DCUrbanDad]

Where do you fire the missiles?

[corrin]

That's awesome. I only fly with my friends (Xanax and Bloody Mary) and I always check out the pilot.

It was nice meeting you at Blogher - we sat next to each other in the Vaginally Challenged session.

[Courtney]

That is so cool that they actually sat you down and asked what you were afraid of! Even if it didn't help, it was totally the shit!

[Jason]

I am really surprised they let you in the cockpit without having to call a TSA officer!

[Lynette]

Well, I am totally impressed by you. Looks like y'all had a good time. I'm sooo sorry I missed it.

[foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)]

Excuse me one minute when I go all pop culture here in your comments before proceeding:

"Talk to me, Goose..."

:)

I hope this post doesn't prompt an TSA investigation. I also hope you missed me when you got to Chicago safely.

[Lex ~ @laprimera]

That is one of my favorite Blogher memories! I'm so glad I know you! xoxo

[Momo Fali]

I wish I had packed you up and brought you home as swag.

[Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas]

It was great meeting you. Thanks again for letting me into the party limo. You rock.

[Jenn in IL]

Oh. My. God. Those pilots are amazing. I, too, am terrified of flying and have a nervous breakdown every time I have to get on a plane...but you are AWESOME for having the balls to go and interrupt them and they are REALLY awesome for calming your fears.

[Maya]

I have four words for you:

SUPER SECRET PIZZA PARTY.

that is all.

[Dawn in Austin]

So glad you had a good time and didn't die.

[Lynn @ human, beiing]

Seriously, next year Denver needs a party plane. Because that looks like way more fun than me sitting alone and doing some work on the way.

[MommyGeek]

It was awesome to meet you. *muah* !

[Heather]

Wow! That's cool they did that.

Glad you didn't die or anything! ;)

[Overflowing Brain (Katie)]

Honestly, we were more thinking that you were about to get yourself arrested. But then, that was the theme of the weekend, yes?

[VDog]

I love you beesh.

[la petite belle]

you are beautiful! and it looks like you guys had a blast. NYC is close to me so I *might* go next year. It would be so awesome to meet you!

[Issa]

I loved hearing this story, but it's even better with pictures.

Am with you 100%. BH is what you make of it. Me? I had a blast hanging with friends and meeting new people.

[Generic Viagra]

Hi, I think your article its very important and interesting,good work, thanks for sharing!! Have a nice day!

[Las Vegas Hotels]

I visit cockpit also when i was ten and we flew to las vegas. i remember it like it was a week ago. but next month we are going to vegas again for the first time since.we booked all the trip through LMT. its going to be a blast