I was only sorta joking when I said I should have my own cooking show. 'Cause really, I'm not that entertaining, but the mishaps I seem to magnetically attract in the kitchen usually are. But I never intended to actually film myself cooking because a) it ain't pretty and b) it's hard enough for me to concentrate on not burning down my house without trying to film TOO and c) some other third thing 'cause I hear examples are best in three's.
But then dinner happened.
Man, I was going ALL OUT on this dinner too. (Well, ALL OUT is relative and when we're talking me: ribs in a crockpot [can I get an AMEN! for the crockpot?] with an entire bottle of store-bought BBQ sauce dumped over them and left to cook, paired with homemade [you heard me! HOMEMADE BITCHES!] twice baked potatoes is ALL OUT, folks.) Let me also just explain that I've made these twice baked potatoes several times before, the first few times following a very simple recipe I found somewhere over the rainbow online and then after that, just kinda doing it from memory. You know, because I've done it before.
People, I don't know if my memory failed me or WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED but let's just say that after baking the potatoes the first time (in the microwave of course!) and mashing my mixture of super secret bland (who am I kidding?) not-so-fancy ingredients (gotta keep it simple, yo') in a whoops too-small-bowl, well, I just *knew* I had to start filming.
Really, I have nothing to say for myself. But I do have a message for Rachael Ray who invited me on her show and then promptly disinvited me: BET YOU'RE SORRY NOW, HUH?
(Fine. Maybe she's not sorry. WHATEVER. This cooking shit is TRICKAY!)