I'll admit to being a bit of a catalog whore. I love them. You know it's Christmastime when catalogs start arriving by the half-dozen on a daily basis, filled with shit you nor anyone you're shopping for absolutely needs. Like t-shirts with witty sayings like "Sarcasm... Just another service I offer" and pewter guitar toilet flushing handle thingamibobs and Beatles 4-piece collector pint glass sets. Little gems that are honestly just useless shit. You have to have.
I always thumb through them, mulling over what I want and will never buy, sometimes tweeting the ohmigawd items, even folding down the glossy page corners of the "maybes" before tossing the catalog on the car floor in the trash and never thinking twice about its colorful pages full-o-crap of the items I briefly loved.
And then there's Candy Ass - he who is anally retentatively clean and wants the mail sorted and the junk thrown away the moment it arrives - who has apparently been hoarding a hardcover "Limited Edition" Cabela's Master Catalog from 2007.
From 2007, people.
As I have been trying to clean and purge our home office the past week, hoping to morph it from the collect-all closet it has become into the useful workplace it was meant to be, I came across many useless items that could either be donated to charity or, in the case of the hardcover "Limited Edition" Cabela's Master Catalog from 2007, thrown away.
"I'm going to throw away that Cabela's catalog you've had since... let me see... 2007 it says, since I'm sure it's no longer valid and could free up some book shelf space."
"You mean the hardcover LIMITED EDITION one? No way."
"Um, yes... it's does have a hardcover but it's from TWO. THOUSAND. SEVEN. They probably don't even sell half these items anymore."
"I don't care. It's a hardcover LIMITED EDITION Master Catalog. Not everyone gets one of those. How many of those have you seen? Don't throw it away!"
W h a t e v e r. I mean seriously. The man thinks candles are 'a waste of counter/shelf/wall space' but we must keep a catalog the man has never taken a second glance at because OH MY GOD it's got a hardcover and says "limited edition?"
Insert eyeroll here.
So I give in. It's new for me - this whole 'giving in' thing but if happiness for a man is keeping a catalog from 2007, okey dokey.
But then.
Then he points to a 1973 Playboy magazine sitting on an adjacent shelf. "You can toss that though," he says nonchalantly like a NINETEEN. SEVENTY. THREE. Playboy magazine is last week's trash.
Insert GASP! here.
"Um what??" I say, completely shocked that this man would throw away something so valuable and nostalgic... of a time when shaving was either a) not an option or b) not in-style. "No way. We're keeping that. THAT is worth money. Your Cabela's catalog - not so much."
"IT'S HARDCOVER! And LIMITED EDITION! You don't see me telling you to throw away your vintage cameras do you?"
"Those are COLLECTIBLES. And again, VALUABLE. I could sell them on ebay if I wanted to. There's a difference, Frugal McFrugalson."
He leaves the room. And the only thing we've established is that we need either a) a bigger house to keep all this crap in or, b) an underground vault to hold all our most precious valuables because at this rate, the office will never be clean.
Oh, see that is where you made a mistake. You just have to throw it away, never mention it. Would he even remember? Yeah, that's how I get things past my horder husband. LOL
Posted by: Mary Jo | 19 January 2010 at 10:12 PM
I'm going to need to see that Playboy next time I'm there. For authenticity purposes of course.
Posted by: Miss | 20 January 2010 at 01:53 AM
That's exactly how my fiance is about his Jeg's magazines...I have a Christmas edition from 2005 in the bathroom that is on the bottom of the pile and he never looks at, but won't let me throw it away. I swear he checks just to make sure it's there like a security blanket!
Posted by: Courtney | 20 January 2010 at 06:28 AM
At least you were nice enough to inform him of your intentions. I would have just thrown it away.
Posted by: C @ Kid Things | 20 January 2010 at 06:52 AM
I hope I don't see you on the next episode of Hoarders. Just kidding.
Posted by: Cherry | 20 January 2010 at 09:05 PM
I don't even know what Cabela is. I make the same mistake as you, though--I always run the throw-away stuff by Husband before ditching it.
Posted by: sarah | 21 January 2010 at 10:08 AM
Well we have the 2006, 2007, 2008 and the 2009 hard cover books that ABSOLUTELY can not be thrown away. Cause it's not like the same shit is in each book, or you can find anything on their web page. And each year they come out with two issues, a spring and a fall. That adds up to a lot of damn catalogs taking up space in my house. Be thankful you only have one issue in your house. I am sure the Spring 2010 issue will be here soon.
Posted by: Bean Counter | 22 January 2010 at 06:58 PM
Does anyone out there have a 2009 Fall Limited Edition Cabelas catalogue? Can you part with it?
My brother-in-law's photo is in it and he can't get his hands one one.
send reply to:
montanamel@gmail.com
Posted by: Melanie Meeks | 16 March 2010 at 05:05 PM