Should we ever, say, meet in a dark alley way [please, let's not] or at a well-lit gathering [tweet-up? Blogher? Yes, please!] there are some things you ought to know about me ahead of time. Disclaimers, if you will...
1. I don't like desserts. Hell, I don't even like my coffee sweet or sweetened.
2. If I am attending a major or national or professional league sporting event of any sort, I am required to buy a foam finger, an overpriced hat and maybe even a plastic cup. None of which I will ever wave/wear/drink out of again.
3. I'm on medication that tends to magnify my inclination to experience short-term memory loss so when you introduce yourself and I immediately (like within 1.5 seconds) forget your name, it's not you, it's me.
4. I'm on medication that tends to magnify my inclination to experience short-term memory loss so when you introduce yourself and I immediately (like within 1.5 seconds) forget your name, it's not you, it's me.
5. Having seen and being able to quote a fairly large portion of the lines from The Hangover is a prerequisite to being my best friend. Or even my acquaintance. I'm sort of an asshole like that.
6. Oh yeah, I'm sort of an asshole.
7. I have food issues: I don't like anything that's slimy (like the slightest bit of fat on steak) or chewy (like scallops, for gods sakes it's like eating eyeballs) or reheated meat (eeeeewww) or leftover cold meat (eeeeewww) or sandwich meat (see: slimy) or food that's been wrapped in saran wrap (I can taste the plastic, I swear to god) or pork (pork chops are like breaded chunks of fat) or any sort of meat that has been "cubed" (good god please don't use the word "cubed" when referring to cutting meat) or... TOLD YOU.
8. I don't have a very good diet. *cough*
9. I get lost everywhere I go. So my husband bought me a GPS. Only problem is, I don't trust it to get me to where I need to go. I've been in downtown Los Angeles - where approximately 14 freeways intersect - and not been able to find a single on-ramp to any of them. True story.
10. Off-the-wall-totally-true-don't-hate-me-for-my-past-fact: I used to be a registered Republican but (and I swear to god) getting to know so many different people with such a variety of backgrounds and life stories on this here internet has made me into a hardcore Democrat.
11. My Starbucks drink of choice is a tall extra dry decaf cappuccino. I will love you forever if you bring me one.
12. I'm sort of completely obsessed with nail polish, especially OPI colors, and have a bazillion different shades. But in truth, I usually alternate between the same three or four colors.
13. I made fun of everyone who went apeshit over the ipads and even wrote a highly technical review about them but now I kinda really definitely neeeeed one for myself *ducks* only so that I can play that catchy little Words With Friends game I discovered. (Yeah, I know, the rest of you mac people have been playing it for YEARS now. BITE ME. Also? See #6.) What's weird is that I loooove WWF but I totally suck at it. Get my ass kicked every. single. time.
14. My first car was a two-tone Eddie Bauer version of a 1986 Ford Bronco. I don't know why I feel that is relevant, but there you go.
15. I sucked my thumb until the second grade when the dentist finally put some torture device in my mouth that poked my thumb every time I stuck it in there. I'm still bitter about it.
I feel better getting all that off of my chest.
Now tell me one thing I should know about you.