The forecast is "Hot with a touch of Hell" again this weekend so I thought What better time than to show off my mad kitchen skillz! Actually, you know there are no skillz, just a lot of fires, explosions and blog-worthy moments.
It's been a long time since my last UKC installment. Which, I guess, is par for the course since it's been a long time since I've made anything in the kitchen worth
laughing talking about.
As you already know, I'm no Rachel Ray or [insert some other famous tv chef here], but there are a couple things I can pull off, if only barely so. One of them is the perfect summertime strawberry Megarita. It's similar to a margarita, only different and special, because it's made with love by me.
Anyhoo, follow along my dear friends as we whoop this shiat up right.
First, cut and clean fresh strawberries from your local fruit stand and freeze. Or, just go buy the frozen ones at the grocery store you lazy ass.
You'll also need all this crap - limeade, triple sec and my good friend Jose Cuervo, plus some ice.
Once your strawberries are frozen, get out your ghetto blender and add the ice and the strawberries, a lot of tequila...
... did I mention some tequila?
Realize a little too late that you've added waaaay too much tequila because you lost your focus (ha. ha.) whilst attempting to get a photo at the same time. Say "SHIT!" real loud.
Nevermind the almost toxic levels of tequila, and don't forget to add (although less) triple sec. Now you may blend. Or grate. Or liquify. Or all three if you're impatient like me.
Attempt to add more frozen strawberries and ice, thinking you'll even out the alcohol levels and then find yourself in a hell of a pickle when your blender is so goddamn full you can't put the lid on it to actually blend (or grate or liquify) it. Say "SHIT!" real loud.
Notice your blender is officially overflowing and (you guessed it) say "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" real loud, realizing that not only do you not know any precise measurements, but you also managed to eff it up your own recipe...
Get out a measuring cup, scoop out the excess and blend. Or grate. Or liquify. Or, all three.
Crap. Realize you forgot to add some limeade and go back and do so, re-blending, re-grating and re-liquifying it again.
bucket glass for yourself and then pour remaining mixture into containers that you can freeze so that you can just pull it out of your freezer when life gets shitty and you're desperate to drown your sorrows in your waaaay too tequila'd Megaritas anytime for a refreshing adult beverage.
Make a mental note to never try and follow another UKC recipe. Ever. Again.