Things gone bad

No one got it exactly, but JanMO was the closest with her guess "moldy bread." Truth is, this:

is actually this:

None other than a few hot dog buns gone, uh, very bad. And not the kinda bad that's so bad it's good; just plain nasty. Fact is, I can't remember even buying these, but let me tell you, what a lovely surprise! when I was kneeling atop my kitchen counter, looking on the highest shelf in the cupboard for some brown sugah. (BTW, does anyone know if brown sugar goes bad? I've probably had that same bag for years. Seriously.) These bad boys are so moldy...

[EVERYONE: How moldy are they??]

... there was LIQUID oozing from the bag. YUMMY.

The truth is, this ain't my first merry-go-round with expired food. Just a month or so ago, Candy Ass took to cleaning off our pantry shelves and let me tell you, I had no idea that shit in a can went bad. No surprise here, but apparently allegedly, I had cake mix (that's right MIX. BETTY CROCKER, baby.) that expired in 2005. That almost takes talent. Of course, all I heard from Candy Ass was a bunch of bitching and moaning about how much food I've wasted. And some of that whining about over-buying, over-spending on groceries each week. But you've already heard about that.

Mad props to all you guessers. Loved the funny ones... like suggesting it was Candy Ass or Jimmy Hoffa, which I thought was redundant. (Oops! Did I reveal too much?) I also like the ones where people guessed and then talked themselves out their own guess as they continued to type. I can relate...

In a purely selfish attempt to make me feel better, what have you found in your fridge/cupboard/trunk that has gone bad?

Comments

[niteznitez]

i can totally relate. I've had flour, instant coffee mix, dried vermicelli, dried seaweed and all sorts of groceries that turned bad without me realising it. Especially the dried stuff. There are no tell-tale signs (e.g. mould) to indicate that they've turned bad. I only realise that they've turned bad when I clean out the cabinets, which doesn't happen often, maybe once every couple of years!!

[Soccer Dad]

Oooh we've had all sorts of things get left to their own devices on the pantry and cabinet shelves. Having four kids we buy a lot of milk - from Costco - in lots of 6-8 gallons at a time. So one time we ran out of room in the house, so I put a few gallons in my *cough* beer fridge in my office, which is above the garage. Fair enough, and we moved it down to the house as needed. All except one gallon. ANd I went through a stretch where I wasn't drinking anything out of that fridge. So it soured, and soured, and expanded, and soured, and then exploded, leaking sour milk all over the carpet as it leaked out. OMG the smell. Took WEEKS to get the carpet and padding clean, let alone the fridge smelling usable again. *GAG*

Cleaning out my mother-in-law's cabinets we found cans that not only lacked 'current style' nutrition labels on them - they had no nutrition label at all, dating them to like the 80's

[CarolynOnline]

First, ewww. Second, I have in my possesion a small bottle of MSG. I don't know if it can expire. Or where it came from. But I can't just throw the thing away for some reason.

[Debbie]

Hey ... you've been in my bread basket again!

Just a couple days ago, the pantry started stinking to high heaven. My husband tells me to go in there and find out what it was. Right there ... I'm mad. Like he can't go in there and find out himself?

Turns out I had potatoes, onions and garlic in a wicker basket. The potatoes had rotted so badly that there was dark brown ooze that smelled like dog crap all in the bottom of the basket and had leaked through to the shelf. Gross. Gross. Gross.

Of course, I never thought to take a picture of it. LOL!!

[Miss Britt]

I just found out last night that onions can go bad.

Like... really bad.

Apparently they start to wither in their peels after a while.

Bad.

[Sprite's Keeper]

I'd say you could blame the hot dog buns on Candy Ass since he evidently missed these when he cleaned out the pantry a month ago. Sweetie, the residue and mold scream FEBRUARY. Oy. I did find some apple juice in our fridge that (even though I DO clean the fridge out religiously) had lingered in the back and when I finally pulled it out, found a layer of blue, green and gray mold on top of the remaining juice. Ugh.

[Sara]

I probably shouldn't describe the moldy cheese I found in my fridge this week. Horrendous.

[cat]

I live in MA and went on a road trip once to myrtle beach and brought tons of snacks for the car ride with us. Well apparently during the 15 hour car ride a bag of cherries got lost under the passenger seat of the car. About a month later my car was swarmed with fruit flies. And on top of that awesomeness the mold from the bag of cherries had started to grow on the floor of my car. YOu have no idea how hard it is to get eleventy billion fruit flies out of a pontiac.

[JP in IL]

I don't use spices very often...but in my opinion, they NEVER go bad. I had some Lowry's Seasoning Salt that I would use occaisionally...and I know I have moved it at least 3 times through Wisconsin and Illinois. My boyfriend was making steaks last month and used the Lowry's. Apparently, after 5 or so years, it loses it's red color and turns white! I didn't realize how old it was until he pointed out the color to me. I am, however, still using it! Again..in my mind, spices NEVER go bad!

Another thing that goes bad....bad beer. We had a 12 pack of Red Dog that we won at a bar...we only drink Miller Lite, so we never opened the beer. So, the Red Dog sat in the garage through at least 2 winters and 2 summers...needless to say...it got a little skunky! So, no sense in throwing out a prize we won shaking dice...so we gave it to our underage friends...they drank it because it was all they had, but I swear, they had to chew it to swallow it!

I think I'll clean out my bread drawer now....

[Ginny]

I found a bag of what I believe to cucumbers in bottom right drawer of the fridge. I can't swear to it because they were brown liquid with a chunk of green in the middle, and when I lifted the bag out it leaked. The mytery-vegetable stank to high heaven.

[Carrie]

I was out in our garage two weeks ago when I noticed a distinct "funk" coming from one corner. I wanted nothing to do with it (some housewife I am, right?), so I told my husband about the throw-up smell coming from his "man-cave." He had left a cup of coffee with cream out in the garage for a few months. And need I remind, it's summertime--BLECH!!

He gave it to me and told me to just plug my nose and wash it. I believe my exact response was "NO FREEEAKIN' WAY, MANPIG!!!" as I bolted from the garage.

Imagine my delight when I found out he had accidentally dropped it on the floor, had to clean up his own nasty barf-stink, and broke the mug!!

It is at times like this when I think, "There is a God and I love him." haha

[Forever In School]

When my sisters and I were kids, my mom's nightmare was finding moldy sandwiches from past weeks in our school backpacks, pressed under tons of books and notebooks. It would drive her crazy. Our excuse was always:" I forgot to eat it! Then I forgot to take it out of my bag!" Our sandwiches looked almost like your hot dog buns.

[evil chef mom]

you know that liquid stuff in a bag is called pruno... it's the drink (normally fruit that's rotted but bread works)that inmates drink to get well, drunk. in jail. you could have traded that for a couple packs of cigerettes!

[Lennie]

Oh, I could write a book here. I am one of those types who not only likes to stock up on food, but makes lots of impulse food purchases too. And amazingly, the stuff doesn't last forever! LOL One of my worst memories though happened many years ago -- I had had a small dinner party and had put out a la-ti-da platter of crudite. You know, raw veggies. Anyhow, I put the leftovers in containers in the fridge (NOT see-through containers, which are now the only kind I will use.....) and promptly forgot they even existed. Many weeks later, I pull out this container and naive as all get out, wonder what's in it and ... open it. Let me tell you, the smell of totally rotten broccoli is one I hope you never know.

[Undomestic Diva]

Oh yes, rotten potatoes. I've damn near grown my own in a dark spot in the pantry before they became liquid-y and smelled like death.

[Timi]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH that happens at this house all the time. We probably throw away more then we actually eat. With just the two of us (and being super lazy) we don't use up stuff as fast as we should. We have tried the dividing and freezing but sometimes we forget (or are just too lazy to dig the machine out of the closet) open something and it's bad before we get to it again. Bagged salad........that's our favorite throw away here.
I agree with JP......In my mind spices NEVER go bad. I'm using spices that came from both my grandmothers houses. They apparently believed spices never went bad either. I have metal cans, spices they probably don't even sell anymore. I don't care I use them. Unless they are so hard I can't get them out of the bottle then I usually just put them on the top shelf out of reach and the possibility of using them. OH HELL NO....don't throw them away!
When The Hubs and I combined households a couple years ago we had a can of Turkey Chili that expired in 1998. Did they make Turkey Chili then? I don't even like Chili! He claims he would have NEVER bought it. We did throw that out!
Your not alone my friend!

[Momo Fali]

Gag.

I have found sippy cups with milk that had been laying around for who knows how long. Thankfully, the lids kept the mold contained and the cups were easily tossed.

[Momo Fali]

Gag.

I have found sippy cups with milk that had been laying around for who knows how long. Thankfully, the lids kept the mold contained and the cups were easily tossed.

[Momo Fali]

Gag.

I have found sippy cups with milk that had been laying around for who knows how long. Thankfully, the lids kept the mold contained and the cups were easily tossed.

[Momo Fali]

Oh dear. I'm not quite sure how that happened! Sorry!

[Kerrie]

I found an onion. In a plastic bag. After what I'm sure was about 10 months. It wasn't until the odor started to permeate in my kitchen that I went looking for the cause of the smell. Sadly, since I was six months pregnant - once I found the said item - my vomit mixed with the liquid onion was a site to behold.

[amanda]

I am so bad about this kind of stuff. Too many examples to post, but the nastiest are the ones that take a little while to notice... like you don't realize it's moldy until you've actually eaten a few bites... Salsa is the main culprit in my fridge. You finally get a southwestern craving, dip a few chips in the jar of salsa that's been hanging out in the refrigerator door... then glance at the lid you casually tossed on the counter and see that it is, um, FUZZY.

[cat]

when i was a wee tot my mom asked me to grab the jelly out of the fridge for my pb& j sandwich. When i looked in the far i noticed what looked like a fluffy hampster on top of the jelly. Actually it was mold...but did my dear loving mother throw out the science experiment in a jar? Oh no...she scooped the mold off and continued to make my sandwich with the unmoldy...yet still tainted jelly underneath.

[Wendy]

Um, just about everything. Lots of things don't get cleaned out of my fridge until after it has turned a fun color of green or orange or red... I've even found a bag of potatos that got shoved underneath a cupboard and I didn't find them until I moving and they were darn near liquified. Actually, my mom found them. Lucky here!

[swirl girl]

I can't believe how far off I was!

[Gabby]

Aw man, not only do things in the refrigerator get forgotten, but I can relate to things 2005 and beyond hanging out in the pantry. In fact, I think in my mom's pantry, waaay up top, there might still be a chocolate Easter bunny from about 1991/2 along with a taped instrumental version of the Lambada. I also have Pepsi cans from Star Wars Episode 1 that I collected and then neglected. The diet ones are all mysteriously empty, as are the Mountain Dew ones. They don't look opened though.
Then there's the time, last week, when I reached into the fridge for some raspberry preserves and found the leaky remnants of moldy homemade marinara sauce. Then just a little while ago, when PioneerWoman posted the pound cake recipe, I found spores in the organic nonfat yogurt. *sigh*
Yep...I'm familiar with liquefied things too.
Baby carrots, mainly. And the underside of lemons in a bowl. You know, when on top they still look good, but really they're sitting in a pool of their own vomit?

[Claudia W.]

First off, I have to admit to a horrible memory. Just ask my kids, they will tell you. I cannot count the number of foods that have gone by the wayside, because when I get home from the grocery store and put things away, I either don't remember that I purchased them in the first place or just plain don't remember where I put them. I do not waste foods, no, not me, never! I just really like doing scientific experiments!

[JanMO]

I am so excited that I won! I could have sworn that there was a picture of a girl in the corner but looking at the full picture I guess there wasn't. Just the way the mold was shaped on the bag I guess.

I guess I am very experienced with moldy bread. lol

The one that really stands out in my mind was when I had moved from one home and bought another down the road. I didn't bother to move everything at one time and stuff I didn't really want just stayed there. I moved in the heat of summer so I really didn't want to be moving much stuff anyway (I am alone so it was all on me to move it). After winter hit I went back down there to look around to see what I might want and I saw a small bag of grated cheese that I must have left out on the counter. I chuckled to myself because of the big glob of mold on it. Then I picked it up and to my horror it was a dead mouse inside of the bag!!! I am very thankful that it wasn't alive!

[Jason]

HOW does a bag of hot dog buns turn into a moldy mess than oozes LIQUID? That's weird.

I can't wait for the next round of guess what rotten food U.D. found in her kitchen.

[Chefectomy]

I would have said Antrax...moldy buns...close...