Things gone bad

No one got it exactly, but JanMO was the closest with her guess "moldy bread." Truth is, this:

is actually this:

None other than a few hot dog buns gone, uh, very bad. And not the kinda bad that's so bad it's good; just plain nasty. Fact is, I can't remember even buying these, but let me tell you, what a lovely surprise! when I was kneeling atop my kitchen counter, looking on the highest shelf in the cupboard for some brown sugah. (BTW, does anyone know if brown sugar goes bad? I've probably had that same bag for years. Seriously.) These bad boys are so moldy...

[EVERYONE: How moldy are they??]

... there was LIQUID oozing from the bag. YUMMY.

The truth is, this ain't my first merry-go-round with expired food. Just a month or so ago, Candy Ass took to cleaning off our pantry shelves and let me tell you, I had no idea that shit in a can went bad. No surprise here, but apparently allegedly, I had cake mix (that's right MIX. BETTY CROCKER, baby.) that expired in 2005. That almost takes talent. Of course, all I heard from Candy Ass was a bunch of bitching and moaning about how much food I've wasted. And some of that whining about over-buying, over-spending on groceries each week. But you've already heard about that.

Mad props to all you guessers. Loved the funny ones... like suggesting it was Candy Ass or Jimmy Hoffa, which I thought was redundant. (Oops! Did I reveal too much?) I also like the ones where people guessed and then talked themselves out their own guess as they continued to type. I can relate...

In a purely selfish attempt to make me feel better, what have you found in your fridge/cupboard/trunk that has gone bad?

Comments

[Coffee Bean]

I'm a freak. I clean my fridge every week. All my cans in my pantry have the labels facing out and are organized. It does get messed up... but not for long. Don't hate me. One time I left a pot on the stove that I had steamed some broccoli in and the broccoli water got so rank I threw up when I went to clean it. Oh! and there was the time I found totally disintegrated cucumbers oozing out of their bag in the fridge... that is why I clean it every week. I can't handle stuff like that. GROSS!!!!

[sista #2]

oh how gross...i think i just threw up in my mouth!

[Tootsie Farklepants]

I once found a Costco size package of hot dogs in a cooler that my husband took camping. It was in the utility room of our old house and for weeks I couldn't figure out what the smell was. I thought it was a dead rat or something. And I kinda wish it had been. I didn't even check until one of his friends asked if we ended up eating all of those hot dogs. And then I just KNEW.

[Jenn in IL]

I am constantly throwing things out. You know, they seem like a fantastic idea to buy at the time, and then I forget I've bought them. Actually, I'm really the worst with leftovers. I'll package up vegetables or spaghetti or something and think "Boy, I can't wait to take this to work for lunch tomorrow!" But then I NEVER do. And a month later, I'll be cleaning out the fridge, see the moldy food and throw the whole container out. I am NOT above buying new tupperware because I've thrown the rest out with moldy food.

[Donna]

Oh wow! I'm no stranger to things gone bad. In fact, while on my "vacation" that I spent cleaning my house within an inch of its life, I found something in the bottom of my pantry that was only identifiable by the bag. Yeah - who knew potatoes would turn to liquid? Eeeewwwh! I guess I put them in a cool dark place and forgot them. I've probably bought and used pounds of potatoes since those things turned to slurpy consistency. My bad!

[Donna-Michele]

Not that this is a contest, but I think I may have a winner here....

Not having children (at least that is my excuse) I didn't know the importance of making absolutely sure I knew how many bottles my sister had sent with me and her baby when I took the child for the weekend. (Now I totally do!!)

My sis was breast feeding, so had pumped the milk.... and, well, one got out of the diaper bag, and lived under my truck seat. Maybe several weeks to several months later- who knows, I was single then.... I was getting ready to take a trip with my new-ish sweety (now my hubbie) and found the baby bottle. Not thinking, as I was detailing the car, I took the lid off, and fell down from the shock at the smell. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the contents were multi colored and separated. EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW SCRUMMY SPOILED BREAST MILK!!

Soooo, the answer to the question of what is grosser than taking your sister's breat milk to your house to put in your fridge when you are single with no kids is.... finding it a month or more later and being knocked out by the stench.

LOL, when I told her, she said she was glad I found the bottle and asked when she could get it from me, as they are expensive... (I am thinking like you could use that now! and, wow! she's not mother of the year!) Then I had to explain that I threw it out, milk-remains and all. She may still be mad about that.