The Great American Tragedy

I witnessed The Great American Tragedy yesterday. I am still shaken.

Upon exiting my favorite Starbucks (where everyone knows my name), I saw a mother absent mindedly set her grande peppermint mocha (with whip) on the hood of her white minivan as she went about buckling her obviously unhappy little girl into her car seat. Flustered with having just complied with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's laws in regards to infant and booster seats, the woman climbed into her minivan, cranked the engine over and threw it into reverse, WITHOUT EVEN THINKING.

The abandoned coffee, in all it's minty goodness and holiday cheer, tragically tumbled off the car's hood, falling to its death on the parking lot asphalt, exploding and hemorrhaging four pumps of chocolate, two shots of espresso, steamed milk and foamy whipped cream, not to mention a spattering of those beautiful red sprinkles that practically scream "HAPPY HOLIDAYS."

I, a witness to this horrific scene, sat frozen behind the wheel of my own car, clutching my tall dry double-shot cappuccino, vowing to not loosen my grip until all the contents of the red cup with that familiar logo had safely reached my esophagus, the last few drips having long since danced past my tongue.

I wept quietly for this woman and her loss, sad to have watched helplessly as the tragedy unfolded in slow motion right before me. Fate had chosen her that day, and having been a victim of such grief a time or two myself - in that very parking lot even - I felt nothing but sympathy for her. What a crappy way to start off your day.

Such a shame... 

Curiously, I watched the woman take notice of her bad fortune, throw up her hands in disgust (and what I believe to be pain fronted by anger) and peel out of the shopping center, most likely heading home to crawl into bed, pull the sheets over her decaffeinated head and cry tears of frustration. At least this is what I would have done, after getting myself another coffee, of course.

Comments

[Sprite's Keeper]

That should be a felony in some states..

[Donna in VA]

Yeap - that's a tragedy alright. That poor woman. I feel her pain from 3,000 miles away. To think she was in heavenly delight with her delicious goodness in her hands to then be struck by such a tragedy so quickly. I can see you sitting there mouth agape and eyes in horror witnessing such an event.
And all on a Monday? That's harsh.

[Avitable]

What a horrible tragedy! I'm weeping over here.

[LovingDanger]

Doesn't she know that the partners should happily replace her beverage for free?? FREE that means she would have gotten an extra couple of sips!!

[Kat]

Hehehe. You're funny.

[Krissi]

OMG.... how did you manage to keep yourself composed while all of this unfolded right in front of your very eyes? I would have been all slow mo throwing my body onto the pavement, whipping out my straw and screaming "I will save you sweetie"!!!

[krysta]

gasp! the horror, oh the horror!

[Heather]

:)

[Stephanie]

That's tragic.

[Jett]

She got sprinkles? I ordered one last Friday and DID NOT GET SPRINKLES.

[MissB]

she probably didn't want to go through the pain of taking said unhappy child out of the car and back in just to repeat the above steps. I say it would have been worth it but that's also why I love the drive-thru Starbucks :)

[Sophie, Inzaburbs]

I lost a Venti Caramel Macchiato once while trying to open the car door with one cup balanced on top of another and a 3 year old by my side. I had walked all the way across a large parking lot to my car and couldn't face going back. Of course it was my drink which bought it and not my husband's. I cried all the way home...

[Emily G.]

I would've gone back in, unhappy child or no. I like your description of the carnage "hemorrhaging four pumps of chocolate..." I will be haunted by that image.

[Heather]

See? That would have sent me home to get a glass of wine instead.

[Heidi]

Oh that poor woman. Did someone give her the number of Victims of Starbucks Loss? It's an amazing group. One lady (cough,cough...me) lost a whole drink tray worth of ventie white mocha goodness. It took her years to recover but with the help of that group, she's slowing coping.

[Jason]

Not only did she lose her peppermint mocha, she lost some serious cash!!!

However, lately, she could have filled up her tank almost seven times on the price of a grande mocha. Go figure!

[Rhea]

I agree this was a huge tragedy. I would have gotten another one ASAP...then headed home. And there might have been come crying in the middle. ahem. Yes, I'll admit to it.

[Noob Mommy]

oh my... there needs to be a therapy group for survivors.

[Amanda]

Ahhhhh, that was (tragically) hilarious.