Gangsterish

I don't know what the neighbors must think.

Last night the boys slept over at Grandma's house because they decided they were moving out. Again. This time, per L-Dub, for sixteen years. Which, if I've assumed correctly, is actually like the perfect amount of time for them to come back home well-behaved citizens of the world, so, OK, sure. See you then, guys.

You would think not having the boys to wake us up at the ass-crack of dawn would be the perfect opportunity to sleep in and rest, but of course my brain would not stop its incessant thinking and wandering about the important things in life - like when's the last day I can shave my armpits before having to go au natural before my wax appointment (oh, yes) and what color nail polish I should replace the whore-ish patriotic sparkly red with - so I finally got my ass up and went about the percolatin' of coffee. Candy Ass, having no brain er- I mean, no problems sleeping, lay there undisturbed. Which is all fine and good except for two small little problems: a) it's so fucking annoying when you can't sleep but someone else can, you know? and, b) he had a hot man date with his brother to go see Johnny Depp in some shoot-'em-up movie and was going to miss it if he didn't get his ass up and showered. 

After getting my coffee going, I came back and poked him. "Wake up."

Noises - ones you cannot spell even phonetically - were made but he did not even begin to move. 

"You're going to miss your movie."

[more strange sounds]

*

Just the night before we had gone to the movies to see The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds - who, by the way, were both immediately added to my Hump Island list. I won't give away any of the movie, but let's just say the movie inspired me to wake up Candy Ass in style. One quick iTunes playlist burned to CD later and...

Hit it!
Yeah!
It takes two to make a thing go right,
It takes two to make it out of sight...
I wanna rock right now
I'm Rob Base and I came to get down
I'm not internationally known
But I'm known to rock the microphone...

Oh yes... I had Candy Ass' fancy surround sound bass a-jumping, walls vibrating with Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock. It must have had the same affect as a bucket of ice cold water in the face because homeboy was up in the shower in no time at all. Which sort of disappointed me since I had a whole 13 other Old Skool Jamz ready to go in case "It Takes Two" didn't do it for him. I followed it up with "Rump Shaker" and "Gin and Juice" and "It's Tricky." It may not have been Candy Ass' idea of good music, but I was sure shakin' my ass as I got dressed and out the door. "I like the way you comb your hair... UH! The stylish clothes you wear... UH!"

You know how you always nickname your neighbors? In our 'hood, there's the neighbors that always fight and the neighbors who we call Super Mom and Super Dad because they're always displaying their mad super parenting skills in their front yard for all the world to see and then there's us. How do they refer to us? The White and Nerdy Gangsterish couple? (Come to think of it, that might have something to do with the fo' shizzle doormat. Heh.)

Speaking of which - I totally want this shirt:

  

  

Comments

[krysta]

now i get the facebook thing this morning. and sandra bullock looks good for her age because SHE HAS NO KIDS!!!! that shirt is SO mine!

[krysta]

damn it, it's out of stock! grrrrr... how can you do this to me?

[PrincessJenn]

Love that you put that song on. Now I have to go find it and download it to my iPod. lol.

Oh and, btw, this is our doormat (just cause I know Candy Ass will totally be wanting a doormat after seeing this): http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/6806/

[Avitable]

I bet your husband was disappointed once he saw that movie - not exactly a shoot-em-up.

[la petite belle]

hahahahaha! you are SO funny.

[Claudia W]

Nice time off from the boys, I always missed my kids when they were gone, but learned to appreciate having the time to myself. Aw...sleeping in, I can't do it when I should, I always want to get up so I don't miss a moment of silence!

Princess Jenn...LOVE the doormat, I went further on that link and found my future coffee mug...WTF? I gotta have that for work.

[Erica]

Haha, totally awesome.

I'm pretty sure I've worked for Sandra Bullock's character in that movie when I worked at the newspaper. That movie was GREAT!

And you can have sandra if I can take her hubby!

[Issa]

Laughing my ass off right now. You're kinda nice though, because I've so done the bucket of ice water before.

Gangsterish. Snort.

Loved that movie. I almost went and saw it again yesterday.

[all things BD]

Perhaps this t-shirt might work as well?

http://www.prankplace.com/tshirts_gangster.htm

[Lu]

Too funny. We are the white gangerster-ish family too. I knew I was giong to marry my hubs when I first rode in his car and it had a nice system in it. "Cuz we love the cars, the cars that go boom" LOL!!!