Dr. Phil-ing you in

As it turns out, my claim to fame as now having been a guest on the Dr. Phil show is really very anti-climatic when I worked like crazy for a week to gather content for their show only to get to speak once... from the audience.

For being a guest they said they needed on the show, I felt a little less than important not having a dressing room of my own because they ran out (see: attempting wardrobe change in single bathroom stall without letting bare feet touch the icky ground), which also meant no gift bag like all the other guests received (where would they have put it? bathroom stall # 1?), being stuck backstage rather than in a green room prior to my taping with the family of two teenaged girls who were being CHEWED THE FUCK OUT by Dr. Phil during theirs (read: hella awkward), being primped with make-up that made me look a wee bit whore-ish which still hasn't come off entirely (by a very lovely lady though) who offered to 'help' me 'a little bit' (also see: purple eye shadow, pink glossy lipstick) and then being introduced wrong and given credit for a video I had never seen in my life, let alone put together.

There were some very cool highlights though. Like being asked if comedian Paul Rodriguez and I were a couple, meeting Amy from ParentDish and... some other interesting thing. Oh yeah, check out the backlots... I think they film The Mentalist there!

But mostly, I was frustrated by only getting the chance to say one thing which I can't even recall because it happened so fast and I was still reeling from being introduced wrong. Besides, before I could finish that thought, I was interrupted by ol' Phil himself. (Yet the producers of the show had been calling me over and over for more insight, more information - what did I think of this and what did I think about that - all week long, including the night before we taped.) Prior to the show the producer and I went over my "talking points" which really, should have been my talking point.

Also annoying was how the show went from being about this study to becoming an intervention of some sort for a very young couple who - sorry - have slim chances of making it together if the husband can't pull his fat head out of his biblical ass. (See: "Well God says in the Bible that females are the weaker sex" and then AND THEN!!! the wife defends him. *smoke comes out my ears, ass on edge of strategically placed seat in the audience aaaand I can't say a got-damn thing*)

Aaaaand curtain.

Yep.

To be fair, no one on the panel got to say a whole lot (there were just too many guests for this one show, honestly)... including Mr. Robinson himself who I think wanted to defend his study a tad bit more than he was able to do. (I, on the other hand, wanted to hear Mr. Robinson's argument and then beat him down in a throwdown of words and inaccuracies, examples and witty comebacks. But alas, I didn't have the chance.)

The young couple who need Dr. Phil's help apparently? They asked to meet him but he didn't have time to meet them... or any of us. He's apparently lacking the leisure time moms like me have on our plates.

When can you see this hard-hitting discussion between angry moms (me) and Dr. Robinson? Oh and three other panelists, two comedians and one screwed up couple? I don't know. They couldn't tell us when it might air. But if you happen to catch it, remember that a) I didn't do my own make-up and b) let me know what I said and if it made any sense at all.

Comments

[Lisa]

No gift bag? Now I'm pissed. Fuck that.

[Heather-Domestic Extraordinaire]

that is crazy. At least you got to see where they might film the Mentalist. That is cool!

[chris]

Well, he is the spawn of the Big O. What did you really expect? Oh, a gift bag. ;)

[Tanis Miller, RNM]

Are you kidding me?

My dreams of watching you over and over on a loop until I have fully mastered your complete impersonation are now dashed.

God damn it Phil. Why must you mess with me so???

[habanerogal]

Icky bathroom? No gift bag ? Whorish makeup? Sounds like they need to do a do-over

[DaisyPantalones]

Dr. Phil is a douche bag. That really sucks.
I never watched the show and would be tempted to watch you but don't want to give that asshat ratings.

[Miss]

I should have let you take the "save your marriage" book of his I bought and chuck it at his fat head.

In reality, I'm kinda disgusted by the way you were treated, esp. when they made SUCH a big deal out of the research they were asking you to do. The whole thing makes me dislike a show I already loathed and I didn't know that was possible.

[Beth]

Well, that thrills me to no end that they didn't really allow enough time for you to speak.

What a waste of time.

[The Mother]

Sorry to hear it went so badly. I've done this stuff in the past, and I have never had a positive experience.

[stacie]

Wow that sounds like it went really badly. I would have been ticked off too. If you find out when it airs let us know.

[Apryl's Antics]

I'm not too surprised to read this.

[Headless Mom]

email me!

[kiki]

i thought the Dr. Phil show was canceled. it should be. congrats on your "claim to fame." i think it's awesome and i hope to see your segment. i have never tuned into his show, but i will to watch you, even if it's only for a moment. what did Dr. Phil look like, like, close-up? Is the make-up caked on and is he really that orange? i think he looks like a creep and is a jerk. take care.

[QBalls]

Dr. Phil? I think it should just be MR. Phil, because he's not a doctor, he just plays one on tv. He is a colossal douchebag as well.

[Tootsie Farklepants]

Welllll THAT SUCKS!! Sheesh!

[mrs.notoching]

I hate when shows do that - you just basically collected the information for them... sorry it was such a bad experience, but hope something good will come out of it at the end.

[Courtney]

TheTTys gift bag is where I draw the line!

[Becky @TheRealBecks]

omg they couldn't even tell you the air date? good lord. how am i supposed to dvr it? stupid dr. phil.

[Angry Julie Monday]

Aww yes, sounds like my experience. They e-mailed me with their questions for the Working Moms Show with Dooce. And then, your lovely Aunt and I got our 20 seconds of fame. Ironic isn't it? They only time that I watch that show is when someone I know is on.

[kathygee1]

I had to laugh a little at this. I had a similar experience on The Dr. Phil Show. They wanted people to tweet from the audience for a show about social media. I got picked. Five of us were taken backstage and our faces powdered (the same brush from one face to the next, GAH!). We were taken to the green room (which is blue BTW) where they had cameras set up. The show started, we tweeted. We were on camera a few times. Dr. Phil read one of my tweets on air.

When it was all over, Dr. Phil and Robin came in to meet us. Someone asked if we could take pictures with Dr. Phil. He said, "Tell you what, let's go backstage again where the lighting is better. Our guy will take pictures, and we will e-mail them to you before you get home." That was in August, I'm still waiting.

The big day of the show airing arrived. I told all my twitter friends to watch. Imagine my surprise when the Twitter part was totally cut out of the show. No mention of it, nothing. LOL So much for my 15 minutes of fame. Oh, and we didn't receive gift bags either.

(I do have to say that Dr. Phil and Robin were very nice when I met them. Producer Gyllian was a total doll.)

[Shari]

Doesn't Dr. Phil know that he fucked with your leisure time?

[Jenn in IL]

Fuck Dr. Phil. He's a douche. If you DO figure out when you're airing, let us know! I want to see your moment of fame and purple eyeshadow. But I don't want to give him ratings every day until I see you!

I much prefer Dr. Oz. Another product of the great and powerful O, but I enjoy his show a lot. Go on there - I bet HE'D give you a gift bag!

[Ren]

They probably figured you have so much leisure time that you might as well come watch the show in person.

[Miss Grace]

You should use your #leisuretime to pursue your gift bag.
What? I can TOTALLY hashtag a blog comment.

[Stacia]

They gotta go where the ratings are, and sad to say, Bible-thumpers always win. Couple that with our ADD society that demands 239 guests on every show.

I would've liked to have seen what was in the gift bag though. Perhaps some purple eyeshadow?

[Jason]

So, when Oprah calls for you to be on one of her last few episodes, what will you say?

[Tina@SendChocolate]

Sorry it didn't go as well as you would have liked. But I bet you were brilliant anyway.

Besides, you don't want that gift bag full of crap you would never even keep. Still, treating you that way is abhorrent.

[Heather Cook]

Wow, I can't wait to see it! Did they tell you when it might air? I apparently have some video footage on there but I'm not sure how good it will be.... since I took it myself!

[pamela]

I've googled when it might be airing.. and it said something about February 22 so lets see.. :)