We have a little problem. Every other day when I venture on to Facebook there's a new frantic status update from 78 percent of my friends in all caps, panicked, urging me and the rest of the world to OMG PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY! BLOCK ALLYOURINFO.COM BY GOING TO PRIVACY > SETTINGS > DELETE! ANYONE CAN SEE YOUR INFORMATION THAT'S REALLY JUST COMPOSED OF YOUR NAME, CITY AND A TOTALLY BULLSHIT HOUSE VALUE BUT STILL YOU SHOULD FEEL VIOLATED, SCARED AND PANIC! COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT DOLPHINS TO DIE!
Eye to the roll.
Worse, are those of you using apps on Facebook that tell you who has been looking at your profile page. Then telling others to CHECK IT OUT! SEE WHO HAS BEEN VIEWING YOUR PROFILE!
Um, isn't that the purpose of Facebook? To stalk other people via their profile pages? And, uh, I'd kinda like to read your shit without you telling everyone I did, thankyouverymuch. I mean, I think I have a right to my Facebook stalking privacy. Respect it, asshole.
You people, blocking these harmless little websites that are often wrong anyway (I know your house isn't work $1.5 right now, sorry), are totally stalk-blocking me. How am I supposed to stalk you if you go and block your shit? Or worse, embarrass me by outing my snooping? This is being very uninternety and frankly I'm ashamed of you.
Also, you can friend me here and like me here. If we're already friends, you're probably blocking me right now. NO BIG DEAL, I've already read allllll your likes, comments and seen your mobile uploads. Or something less stalkerish.
Huh. I'm going to have to start putting up more interesting things for you to read, methinks. ;-)
Posted by: Maura | 11 February 2011 at 11:01 PM
I'm stalking you this very minute on facebook.
<3
Posted by: pamela | 11 February 2011 at 11:15 PM
I heart this!
Posted by: Tamara in TX | 12 February 2011 at 07:49 AM
I've been missing my doeses of the Diva. Keep 'em coming, sister. Love from Vegas!
Posted by: kristeneileen | 12 February 2011 at 09:30 AM
Its so much harder to stealth stalk people now. I don't want people I'm stalking to know. Then its just awkward and creepy, especially if I run into them.
Posted by: Deanna | 13 February 2011 at 05:20 PM
I stalked you too!
Posted by: Theresa | 16 February 2011 at 12:47 PM
You are so funny! I have been sitting here at work....reading your blog, not working, and laughing my ass off! Thank you for your humor and your slightly different slant on life. This has made my morning, and I will be stalking you more in the future!
Posted by: Laura A | 08 April 2011 at 10:36 AM